Food: is it Important in our Memories of Family and Parish?

On my way back from a recent Growing Old Gracefully related meeting I serendipitously listened to a Radio 4 Food programme called: “What’s so Special about the Food our Grandmothers Cook?” It recounted some of the tasty and not so tasty meals grandchildren had experienced from grandmothers. The programme reflected the diversity of food: Italian grandmothers cooking fresh pasta every day and a Colombian elder talking about a traditional soup learned from another older woman many years ago. These were both traditional recipes that these women were passing on to others.

It got me thinking: What are our traditional recipes? And do those of us grandparents pass on recipes to future generations? In my family it is more likely grandfathers passing on recipes as my children (now adult) remember the food their grandfather cooked when we went to stay. He was the main cook and his roasts, lasagne, shepherd’s pie and trifles were enjoyed by all of us!

We are a multicultural society and many of us now eat a range of international foods. In our family we may eat a traditional “roast and two veg.” and apple crumble. We also love curry, tandoori, jerk chicken, pasta and pizza. Some of the family are vegan. I was born in Scotland and the next generation of my own family are of Indian, African, Colombian, as well as English and Scottish origin and those cuisines are now part of our family tradition. One of my daughter’s in law wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t mention her Cornish background. My Yorkshire son–in-law’s signature dish is a seafood paella. He and my sons and daughter are all good cooks.

This programme was about the nurturing influence of grandmothers through their cooking. I only had one grandparent living when I was born and when I was a child she was a widow living with an aunt. Meals were very formal and as young children when we went to stay, (we lived in Scotland and she was in Kent), we were discouraged by my great great aunt from talking at meals unless spoken to. I slept in a little bed in Granny’s room and my favourite time was during her late night cup of tea I would wake up and be offered a biscuit and travel sweet from a tin. Luxury! And this was my talking time with Granny. So it was not her cooking I recalled, ( which apparently was limited, as is mine) but those sweets, and the other treats like going daily to a cafe for lemonade and a cake. With my own limited culinary talent it is more likely the trips out to eat that my grandchildren may remember: pizza and icecreams! It became a tradition while our cheap, local, much loved French Bistro was open that we took our sons,daughters and grandchildren out for supper on Christmas Eve. And in January I take them to the local pantomime with bags of sweets and ice creams.This has become part of our tradition.

I know of one grandmother who has extended family round once a week for an evening meal. I am full of admiration. Her husband with dementia is now in a care home and she goes every evening to feed him his evening meal. Food has always played an important social part in their lives.

Food in parishes is important. The Eucharist is the centre of Catholic life. Food in the parish hall is another important way parishioners meet each other and preserve and build on parish relationships. In our parish tea and coffee after Sunday Mass is attended by 30 or 40 parishioners regularly. It is (hopefully) a welcoming place for new parishioners and a social occasion for all ages keeping in touch with each other in the parish, particularly important as we no longer have our own parish priest and share with a larger neighbouring parish. Our parish hold an annual Seder (Passover) Meal. Every year large numbers of people from our and other churches meet to celebrate the Passover Meal, eating the traditional foods and drink of our Jewish sisters and brothers after we listen to the Readings they use about the Passover from the Old Teastament. At Pentecost we have a tradition of sharing food after Mass: traditional recipes from the countries from which our diverse congregation originally come. We have Indian samosas and sweets, Sri Lankan fishcakes, Portuguese soup, French quiche, Italian and Polish cake, English scones and many other dishes: a wonderful communal way to celebrate our diversity at Pentecost.

So, food is important in families and parishes: culinary traditions whether they are home cooked, trips to cafes and restaurants, or family trips to pantomimes or other foody treats. Parish meals and weekly cups of tea and biscuits in the parish hall are also key in forming and nourishing the life of parish communities.

I enjoyed the Radio 4 programme but I have to confess I didn’t hear it all…I was too busy reminiscing on what was special about the food experiences in my own family and parish. What are your family and food traditions?

Leeds Diocese – Dementia Friendly Carol Service, 8th December 2018

Thank you to everyone who supported the first Dementia Friendly Service of Lessons and Carols at the Cathedral Church of St Anne this weekend.

The children from Holy Rosary and St Anne’s Catholic Primary School sang beautifully and their teachers Jo and Liz were there to lead them.  One person said “The choir were just beautiful. I could have listened to them and watched them all afternoon. Gorgeous expressions and good little singers. A credit to the school.”

Nearly everyone came next door to Wheeler Hall after the Service for mince pies and mulled wine.  Thanks to Tesco Express St Paul’s store who donated a lot of the refreshments.  It was a warm gathering with old friends reconnected and new friends made, despite wet and windy weather and the night drawing in.

“Yet, in thy dark streets shineth the everlasting light; the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.”  Phillips Brooks

If your parish would like to hold a Dementia Friendly Service of Lessons and Carols then here is more information and our Service Booklet.

Old People’s Home for Four Year Olds

Together for the Common Good have spotlighted a Channel 4 TV programme entitled ‘Old People’s Home for Four Year Olds’ which explored how bringing those born in the early 1930s with those born in 2013 together benefited not only the residents, but also the children who came to visit them.  St Monica Trust, with their roots in the High Anglican tradition, saw an opportunity to work with Channel 4 and devise a model for care homes that brought together the oldest and youngest in society.

Ten four-year-olds and eleven people in their late eighties were brought together for a six week experiment in a new nursery within St Monica’s retirement community in Bristol. Inspired by a similar scheme set up 25 years ago in the US, this was an inter-generational experiment designed to measure the impact on the health and happiness of older people.

If you didn’t see the programme when it was broadcast, it’s well worth watching on Channel 4’s catch-up  Old People’s Home for Four Year Olds’ .  You can read more about it here including what happened after the film crew left.