Over the Hill or Embracing the View? Perspectives on Later Life – Gaynor Hammond

A short personal reflection by Gaynor Hammond

Adapted from the Closing Reflection given by Gaynor at our event on 26th April 2022.

When I think about old age, it is still – somewhere over there!!

Till I get my aches and pains, or I hit a brick wall and occasionally the realisation hits that actually I have probably reached it!!

But it can be so hard to accept!

My mind often goes back to the point in my life when I retired from my posts as Regional Tutor for Northern Baptist College and Associate Minister of a large church in Leeds, I was 67 years old.

I decided to join a church near home where I felt I could belong.
I approached the minister of a local church to talk about becoming a member.

The minister was really pleased and said that he knew which House Group would be just right for me. It was in the afternoon because it was for the ‘older ladies.’ It was run by a man we shall call Fred and the group was called ‘Fred’s lovely ladies’ I was assured that they loved it – and I would too!  I thought to myself. “Does he know who I am!’ He Did!! Well he didn’t know me very well because he would have known I am not a ‘lovely lady’!!!!

But is that how he now saw me? – an old lady? Well I suppose I was – but!!

Needless to say I didn’t join! But that experience made me wonder if this was the beginning of my decline!

In contrast, at the age of 70, I was ecstatic to be called back into ministry – I felt like Moses!! I was called to be minister of Hope Baptist Church at Hebden Bridge – which I did for nearly 3 years – until a heart condition forced me to lay it down, which literally broke my heart, there was so much left for me to do!!

Where did that leave me? Back in decline? Only God knows.

3 years later and 3 blue light trips to A&E I’m still standing!

I now belong to a little church who don’t ask too much of me but often ask me: ‘Can we just run this past you?… Can you just take a look at this?… Would you just help us with this…?’
So it feels like I am not quite in decline, just on a different stage of the journey. Being offered a different way to serve.

We each have our own story.

What can we say? God hasn’t finished with us yet? And who knows what the future will bring? Maybe part of the wisdom that comes with maturity is the knowledge that we cannot do it all! And actually we never could!

Perhaps aging helps us to get it all in perspective and realise that the work we have done – and the work we still have to do – however small and insignificant it seems, is God’s – what happens to it is in God’s hands not ours.

I would like us to finish by reflecting on some words by Oscar Romero, which I think are so fitting for us today.

It helps now and then to step back and take the long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts it is even beyond our vision.
We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work.

We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted knowing they hold future promise.
We lay down foundations that will need further development far beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in realising that.
This enables us to do something and do it very well.

It may be incomplete, a step along the way, an opportunity for God’s grace to enter and do the rest. We may never see the end results but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.

Oscar Romero

So whatever stage of life we are at, what a privilege to be a part – even a small part – of building God’s kingdom here on earth – because there is still an adventure to be had – and God hasn’t finished with us yet!

Blessing from the Northumbria Community

'May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you, 
Wherever he may send you
May he guide you through the wilderness, 
Protect you through the storm
May he bring you home rejoicing 
At the wonders he has shown you
May he bring you home rejoicing 
Once again into our doors.'

Gaynor Hammond, April 2022

Living and Dying Well – some useful websites and books

As we are not able to run the conference at this time, we thought we would remind you of some useful websites and books on the topics of living and dying well. We hope you benefit greatly from exploring this content.

Useful Websites for your perusal:

The Art of Dying Well:   https://www.artofdyingwell.org/

This excellent website based on an ancient Catholic tradition called Ars Moriendi offers practical and spiritual support to anyone faced with the prospect of death and dying, including helpful articles and videos.

Christians on Ageing:   https://christiansonageing.org.uk/

A resource for churches: a voice for older people and their life of faith and hope. Interesting articles and up to date news.

Dying Matters:        https://www.dyingmatters.org/

Well known website and movement to help people talk openly about dying, death and bereavement.

Sue Ryder:      https://www.sueryder.org/      

Scroll down on the home page to find their useful publication ‘A Better Death’.

A few recommended books for further reading:

If you click on the title it will take you to where you can read more about the book or purchase it if you wish.

Between Living and Dying: Voices from the Edge of Experience – Ruth Scott

Dear Life: A Doctor’s story of Love and Loss – Rachel Clarke

With the End in Mind: How to Live and Die Well– Kathryn Mannix

The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully – Joan Chittister

God, Me and Being Very Old – Keith Albans and Malcolm Johnson

“I have a dream” by Ann West

Ann West, a trustee, writes “I have a dream that one day, older people will not have to sky dive, run marathons, complete a bucket list, rely on cosmetic surgery , or Viagra, in order to be admired, valued or just to keep up.”

You can read more about Ann’s dream here I have a dream by Ann West

Ann explains that this was written for an international project, to develop active ageing, called the Cinage Project.   “The growth of the older population in numbers, and in how long we are likely to live after retirement, means that we all need to think about how life could be different for possibly 30 or more years post employment.  I am part of a course run by Leeds Beckett University’s School of Performing Arts. We experience lots of different types of performance including, dance, singing,  writing and reading out loud, watching films of different types of performance, learning about and from each other. We have been asked to write several pieces, which we read out. It is amazing how the topics open up conversations about very important issues to us, in our Third Age.”

The finished performance will be printed for an international conference on active ageing in November 2017…. and then, who knows?