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Dementia Friends in our Diocese

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Some of St Joseph's, Pudsey SVP members

Some of St Joseph’s, Pudsey SVP members

Growing Old Grace-fully led two short sessions recently for people wanting to know more about Growing A Dementia-Friendly Parish at St Joseph’s, Pudsey and St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, Shipley.

Dementia Friends from Shipley's St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

Dementia Friends from Shipley’s St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross

 

Thank you to everyone who supported these hour-long sessions which resulted in 21 new Dementia Friends.  Having Dementia Friends in a Parish is a great way to change the way people think, act and talk about dementia and is a real start to becoming a Dementia-Friendly Parish.

It’s easy to assume our parishes are dementia-friendly… how could we who aspire to follow Jesus think it is acceptable to exclude anyone?  Yet people living with dementia, and their families, do often have that experience of feeling marginalised.  Being dementia-UNfriendly doesn’t happen because people want to exclude someone.  It’s often a lack of understanding about dementia or even misplaced kindness.  To be a Dementia-Friendly Parish is to engage in the process that will find ways to include people with dementia, so that they are helped to experience life in all its fullness.

Growing a Dementia-Friendly Parish is always work in progress.  It will take on a life of its own, develop and grow.  Congratulations to the Parishes of St Joseph’s and St Teresa Benedicta for starting the journey.

If you would like to book a one hour information session on Growing  A Dementia-Friendly Parish , or simply want to know more, please call Rachel on 07702 255142 or email growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk .

Easter Newsletter

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resurrection crossThis Eastertide,
May we be blessed with the promise of rebirth wherever we are and whoever we may be.
May the birds carol and rejoice that we are all alive under one sky
May our spirits unfurl like a sunflower following the arc of light
And may we all feel the blessing of this good earth And rejoice in the good news of this Easter and a Joyful Springtime.
(adapted from an  Irish blessing)

Dear friend

After a long wet and windy Winter, what a joy it is to see the world around us coming back to life with spring flowers, fresh buds, blossoms, birds singing their hearts out, new born lambs. All these wonderful signs of life continually renewed.

At Growing Old Grace-fully we have been thinking and praying about where we need to focus our efforts in the coming year – a renewal of our approach.  We have asked the questions “What is the difference we want to make in the Diocese?” and “What are the changes we would like to see in the parishes relating to older people and later life by 2018?”

Our purpose has not changed.  We will continue to seek to raise awareness of the spiritual and practical needs of older people, and their contribution to our communities across the Diocese of Leeds.  We want to focus more of our efforts on inspiring and supporting practical actions within the parishes by:

  • Sharing best practice through our website www.growingoldgracefully.org.uk
  • Helping create local solutions to local needs
  • Offering information, support and advice to parishes
  • Encouraging dementia-friendly parishes.

The spiritual needs of people with dementia, and their carers, is often overlooked.  To be a dementia-friendly parish is to find ways to include people with dementia so that they are helped to experience life in all its fullness.  Rachel Walker, our project worker, is a Dementia Champion and is leading a number of short sessions on Becoming a Dementia-Friendly Parish at:

  • St Joseph’s, Pudsey                 Monday 18th April, 7.30pm-8.30pm
  • St Walburga’s, Shipley            Tuesday 19th April, 7.45pm-8.45pm
  • Corpus Christi, Leeds 9          Wednesday 18th May, 7.00pm-8.00pm

dementia Autumn leaves imageTo understand how your parish can work towards becoming dementia-friendly, or to discuss other ways of valuing and supporting people in later life, please call Rachel on (07702) 255142 or email growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk . 

God does not value people according to their memory and skills but loves each one of us unconditionally.   The work of Growing Old Grace-fully aims to help the Church to be aware of the effects of mental and physical diminishment on older members, but also to cherish the blessings of ageing… the potential and the joys.  Fr Ralph Woodall SJ writes:

old and young hands“The task and privilege of older people is to gather, appreciate more deeply and treasure the hints of God’s presence that they have known and generously to share the wisdom that they have received as gift from God.

It may be that the wisdom is still implicit: they have not quite appreciated how important have been those occasions in their lives where they have helped others or been helped by others.

Older members of the community should have no need to be independent; they can help others to realise how inter-dependence is part of God’s plan for our lives, for building his kingdom.

This can make older people very precious in the Christian community.”

 

Warmest thanks for your interest in and support of our work across the Diocese.

Every Blessing.

Pippa Bonner, Trustee                        Carol Burns, Trustee                     Anne Forbes, Trustee

 

 Paul Grafton, Chair                      Cath Mahoney, Trustee                 Mgr Peter Rosser, Trustee

 

Rachel Walker, Project Worker             Ann West, Trustee

 

Grieving and dementia

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Year of Mercy logoOne of our trustees, Pippa, led a talk about Dementia within a Charismatic Day in our Diocese in the context of The Year of Mercy. Pippa defined Mercy in this context principally as compassion.  Fr Keen’s quotation is particularly relevant for those living with dementia and their carers.

Mercy is the willingness to enter the chaos of someone else’s life.                      James F Keen, SJ

The talk included helpful advice when speaking with a person with dementia who has had a bereavement. Maria Longfellow, an Occupational Therapist, put the material together from a number of sources. It is an area that many wonder how best to handle but here are some resources that might be helpful.

Helping the Person with Dementia Grieve After the Death of a Loved One – Beth S. Patterson, MA, LPC.html

 

Ageing without Children – Our Voices

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Did you know that 1 in 5 people over 50 don’t have children and by 2030, there will be 2 million people over 65 without children.

Ageing without Children (AWOC), a charity that aims to help people ageing without children live a later life free of the free fear of ageing alone and being without support, recently held their Annual Conference in Leeds.  This is a topic under reported and under researched and they have produced  an interesting report called “Our Voices – the experiences of people ageing without children”  to raise its profile.

AWOC defines people ageing without children as people over the age of 50 without children in their lives either because they have never been parents or because their children have died, they are estranged from them or they live far away.

 Our Voices details the experiences and thoughts of this previously invisible group of older people.  This report offers more than thinking about who will provide support, help and care to those without children.  People ageing without children say they feel invisible and marginalised –  lacking a place in a family orientated society.  AWOC explain that the report aims to give room for just a few of the stories of people ageing without children to be heard, and that it is time to start to hear more.

Here’s AWOC’s report, our-voices-3 AWOC which can also be downloaded on their website http://awoc.org/ or email ageingwithoutchildren@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

New year, new plans

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“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come”   Alfred Tennyson

At Growing Old Grace-fully we have all sat down together at the beginning of this month to think about where we need to focus our efforts in the coming year.  We have asked the questions “What is the difference we want to make in the Diocese?” “What are the changes we would like to see in the parishes relating to older people and later life by 2018?” So like the Roman God Janus (from which January takes its name) who is depicted with two faces, one looking backwards and one forwards, we have found ourselves reflecting on past events whilst looking ahead to new possibilities.

One of the possibilities we would like to encourage, is to have more dementia-friendly parishes.  Growing Old Grace-fully have registered our plans to be dementia-friendly and you can view our Action Plans here http://www.dementiaaction.org.uk/members_and_action_plans/3926-growing_old_grace-fully .

If you think your Parish might be interested in working to become dementia-friendly, please call Rachel on 07702 255142 or email growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk .  We can also offer Dementia Friends Information Sessions for Parish groups to help individuals have an understanding of dementia and the small things that you can do that make a difference.

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May the God of new beginnings give us hope and encouragement as this New Year opens before us with all its challenges. And may God, creator, Son and comforter be with us now and always. Amen.

 

 

Christmas Greetings

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Joy

May the joy of the angels,
The wonder of the shepherds,
And the peace of the Christ Child,
Fill your hearts this Christmas time;
And may God’s blessing be with you,  now and for always. Amen.

 

We wish you all a peaceful Christmas.  Thank you to everyone who has shown interest in our work by supporting one or more of our events over the last five years; a Conference on Ageing, a Retreat Day or a ‘Welcoming People with Dementia’ Day , for example.

EventsAs well as a programme of events around the Diocese, we also are working to support best practice in parishes and deaneries through sharing stories, news and resources on our website www.growingoldgracefully.org.uk .  It is our hope and our prayer that our work encourages older people to celebrate what has been, rejoice in what is and trust in God for what will be shown to us and through us, in the times to come.

Our plans for the next 12 months are to continue our event programme to offer:

  1. Retreat Days
  2. Quiet Days for Carers
  3. Gatherings to help parishes be more dementia-friendly and Welcome People with Dementia
  4. Days to reflect on Living Well and Dying Well

We also are hoping to start to recruit a network of Friends who will each help us spread news of events in their parish, as well as helping to gather news of good practice to share in future newsletters and on our website.

Our programme has been shaped by what older people have told us they want and need.

 

A few years ago, at around this time, John Bell of the Iona Community said “Advent and Christmas… are about old people.” If you find that statement surprising, then you’re not alone.  Many of us consider Christmas to be about children, but John Bell reminds us that they don’t feature in the story.

Liz and Zach

“The Advent stories begin with an elderly couple, Elizabeth and Zachariah, who become parents in their old age

and Simeon and Anna recognise the uniqueness in Mary’s tiny baby,because God will not have people marginalised or written off on account of age.

And when we see three wise men worshipping Jesus and then going home by another way,

we see God’s belief and expectation that older folk can change and will change when they recognise the truth.”

 John Bell, Advent Talk on Radio 4

 

Warmest thanks for your interest in and support of our work across the Diocese.

Every Blessing for 2016.

Pippa Bonner, Trustee                        Carol Burns, Trustee               Anne Forbes, Trustee

 

Paul Grafton, Chair                 Cath Mahoney, Trustee          Mgr Peter Rosser, Trustee

 

Rachel Walker, Project Worker             Ann West, Trustee

 

Bearing fruit or going to seed? – An Autumn reflection

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‘Bearing fruit’ is seen as a very positive image while ‘going to seed’ often indicates that someone is past their best and perhaps even somewhat decrepit.  Yet the farmer and the gardener often strive for plants to go to seed so that the species continues and will fruit another year.

In our Christian lives we are urged to bear fruit and also sow seeds for our own and future generations.

God’s Spirit has given us life and can make our lives fruitful: with love, joy and peace; patience, kindness and goodness; faithfulness, humility and self-control. (Based on Galatians 5.23-25).

The work of Growing Old Grace-fully hopes to encourage older people to celebrate what has been, rejoice in what is and trust in God for what will be shown to us and through us, in the times to come.

Bearing fruit, going to seed… can we still be excited by new opportunities around us, and the chance to offer ourselves in different ways in Christ’s service?  Can we be surprised and rejoice that sometimes our seeds produce an unexpected plant?

This reflection is from resources developed by MHA www.mha.org.uk

 

‘Called To Be Old’

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Carol

People gathered at Wheeler Hall in Leeds this Autumn from all over our Diocese to reflect on older people’s gifts to the Church and to society.

Ann talks

Ann Morisy

Community Theologian and best-selling author Ann Morisy led the morning session.  Ann’s keynote address included space for discussion and we were invited to consider how we resist a habitual undervaluing of older people and negative attitudes to old age, especially given that current and future ‘third agers’ may have to withstand this subtle undervaluing for 30 years.  We are living so much longer than previous generations and are therefore older for longer.  Ann also invited everyone to discuss the role of Church in keeping us cheerful in later life, highlighting a study by the LSE of 10,000 people over 50 that showed a link between religious observance and feeling happier.  Ann’s slides can be downloaded here Leeds Oct 2015 for website

Discussion

 

More discussion

…and more discussion

After Mass, celebrated in the Cathedral by Bishop Marcus, and lunch provided by the SVP’s Catering Services, we heard personal testimonies about how life changed after retirement from paid work.

(left to right) Our Panel - Anne Forbes, Chair / Ann West / Nessa Nedd / Hilary Willmer / Albert Maher

(left to right) Our Panel – Anne Forbes, Chair / Ann West / Nessa Nedd / Hilary Willmer / Albert Maher

 

 

All the speakers on our panel shared with us how they had found a new, and sometimes surprising, vocation in later life and many were very generous in bearing witness to both the joys and the sorrows that had led them to their new calling and the hope they had found within this.

 

 

Sr Marion

Sr Marion

Bob Shaw

Bob Shaw

Sr Marion Charley and Canon Bob Shaw both shared their memories of Sr Vivien Bowman, who died in 2013.  Sr Vivien, a religious sister from the South Leeds community of the (international) Society of the Sacred Heart, was a key contributor to the ecumenical report ‘Called To Be Old’ produced in Leeds more than 20 years ago.  In this report, Sr Vivien expressed how “giving up a worthwhile job has been more positive than negative. I experience a new freedom to explore unknown paths, to meet new people, and I am not restricted by a 9-5 routine.”

The response from all those attending was very positive, with a number of people commenting that the event had inspired and encouraged them, offering new challenging insights into the ageing process.  Quite a few of the attendees suggested there is a need to help people discern their personal vocation in later life and that Growing Old Grace-fully might be able to support people in fulfilment of this need.  Watch this space!

 

20151016_114154_resizedIf you would like Rachel to come and talk to a Parish Group about the work of Growing Old Grace-fully, call 07702 255142, email: growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk  .

Rachel, as an Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Champion, can also offer short Dementia Friends Information Sessions to help your church in welcoming those living with dementia and their carers.

We welcome Ann Morisy to Leeds, author of best-selling books Beyond the Good Samaritan and Journeying Out.

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On Friday 16th October, 10.30am at Wheeler Hall, Cathedral Church of St Anne, Great George Street, Leeds LS2 8BE, Growing Old Grace-fully is delighted to welcome Ann Morisy to give the keynote address.

Older people give massive value to our society and to our churches in myriad ways, not least in the vast amount of time and expertise given in volunteering.  But have we really woken up to this?   How do we better value older people so that the focus is on the opportunities our ageing congregations offer, rather than the challenges?  And how do we as individuals prepare for later life?  Ann’s appearance at the “Called To Be Old” gathering will help in exploring these questions and reflecting on older people’s gifts.

Ann teaches about the need for older men and women to keep learning and contributing to the larger community. “As Baby Boomers are getting older, we are a pioneering generation entering this very long old age that people are experiencing today.” She works across the UK training communities in multi-generational dialogue. “We try to encourage churches not just to respond with pastoral care in relation to older people—but to encourage older people to think and reflect—and do their utmost—not to be a pain in later life. … If we fall prey to being a pain in later life, we can really wreck the lives of those around us—for decades.”

Borrowing from the futureAnn’s latest book, Borrowing from the Future: A Faith-Based Approach to Intergenerational Equity offers a faith-based exploration of intergenerational fairness, calling for the rights of tomorrow to be valued alongside those of today.

For more information and to book places, call Rachel on 07702 255142, email: growing.old.gracefully@dioceseofleeds.org.uk

Welcoming People with Dementia – Two events in our Diocese

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It was good to see an encouraging level of attendance at two recent events in our Diocese; events that focused on how we get alongside people with dementia and stay with them on their difficult journey.

Fr Michael

Fr Michael

The event at St Aidan’s in Baildon was organised by Growing Old Grace-fully and welcomed nearly 30 people to a gathering led by our own poet-priest, Fr Michael McCarthy.  It was uplifting to see such a diverse group of people, both religious and lay, come together to talk about how we can enable life to be enriched for those who develop dementia as well as those who care for them.  By reading excerpts from his latest book of poetry, The Healing Station, Fr Michael helped ensure the voices of people with dementia were heard so that their personhood is brought out.  Gaynor Hammond, a Baptist Minister and author of a number of excellent practical books on spirituality and dementia, led the session after lunch reflecting on what we can do to make our own parishes more dementia-friendly.

 

Ted Britton, MHA

Ted Britton, MHA

The women’s group at The Immaculate Heart of Mary in Leeds organised a wonderful day offering lots of ideas and inspiration on responding to people with dementia.  Gaynor Hammond led the first session of the day offering lots of practical suggestions to help connect individually with people living with dementia.  Ted Britton, Chaplaincy Advisor from Methodist Homes (MHA), invited us to explore the Gospel message of acceptance, love and hope for those living with dementia, and those who care for them.  We also heard presentations from the Royal Voluntary Service, Carers Leeds, MAECare and the Alzheimer’s Society to help us understand what local support is available.

 

The joys and challenges of being alongside people living with dementia are worth sharing and it was great to hear of some of resources and responses that might spark our own ideas.

If you would like to discuss how Growing Old Grace-fully might help support older people with dementia or their carers in your parish, please get in touch.  We’d love to hear from you.