An interesting reflection.

Taken from ‘Fountain of Age’ by Betty Frieden, Simon & Schuster 1993.

This generation has a unique role in combating the “age as decline” model, which is still prevalent in Western society.  We are living longer with health and assets, and the benefits of technology – at the turn of the 20th century average life expectancy was 45 years.

It is the nature of  our human biology- and above all our human brain – that development can indeed continue beyond childhood, youth and beyond mid life up to and beyond the 70’s. It can continue to the very end of life, given purposes that challenge and use our human abilities

That is not how we look at age today. As things are now, we have good reason to fear age. We have seen, and are shown, only the losses and declines it can impose.

• In gerontology there is bias to studies of older people in institutions,/ of senility/ dementia / dependency.
• In retirement, although in the USA retirement age was raised to 70 in 1977, age discrimination continues to favour younger workers.
• The obsession with being young is characterised by face lifts, plastic surgery in general and Viagra.
• The retirement village complex, funded by business consortiums feeding on people’s fear of loneliness, illness, not coping – cashing in on the mindless conformity to the victim model of old age.

We have therefore averted our eyes from the face of age.

Do you remember? by Fr John T Dunne

“Do you remember?” How often have  we said that to an old friend or perhaps a person we have worked with for many years.  Shared memories mean a lot to us.  And we enjoy sharing them.   “Talking over old times” in the company of a friend can be a real pleasure.  We meet once more those long gone people we both once knew.  The “old times” were part of what made us the persons we now are.

It is one of the trials of growing old that, one by one,  friends are lost.    Fewer and fewer people can go back with us into the past of fifty or sixty years ago. With the loss of people  who share our memories our own lives are in a way reduced and narrowed.  The past has become a more remote land into which we can no longer venture in the company of trusted companions and  fellow voyagers.

This loss of shared memory is almost inevitable in a the course of a long life. I find it a real trial but I tackle it in three stages, just as I would arthritic knees or forgetfulness.  The three magic words are recognise, accept and adapt.
For a start we need to recognise that we have  a problem. Otherwise it will be like a nagging tooth which we try to ignore.  Then, having looked it in the face, we accept it is a natural  feature of life as an older person.  But how do we handle it?  I find it helps me escape from the voices the past by trying really hard to live in the present.  After all that is where we now are.  And, as Christians, we still have so much to look forward to. So, remember the past with affection, enjoy the present with appreciation and await the future with trust.

Fr John Dunne has just celebrated his ordination Diamond Jubilee.